Her breath shuddered out of her as he lifted his hand and sent it hurling back towards her face. She was numb to this. She knew he was hitting her, she knew his hands were on her body, scratching and clawing, leaving bruise after bruise. But she was numb to it all, she had been for years. Her body was so weak and broken she could do no more than moan in pain as he grabbed a hunk of her hair and drug her down the carpetted hall. She was lifted and dropped on the bed. Her husband turned from her and headed for the closet. He grabbed two or three hangers and threw them at her.
"Now put those on!" he bellowed.
Rebecca didn't move or speak until he'd left the room and walked down the hall. Only then did she allow herself to cry. She shed the same tears she'd shed everyday for the past 8 years. That's how long she'd been married to Richard. Richard Sullivan, a handsome young man from a well-to-do family in uptown Manhattan. The son of a wealthy banker. He spent his days in black suits making decision after decision. He was a power mogul who was to his company as God was to every Christian alive. Not a move was made without his say and he needed to have that control at home as well.
"You will not flaunt what's mine!" he shouted from somewhere in the house.
That's what this was all about. She'd been tanning by the pool and a neighbor, whose balcony overlooked their roof-top pool, was watching. Richard discovered this and drug her back into the apartment. Immediately after he'd thrown her against the wall and laid into her as if she were a punching bag at the gym. That's all she was to him, a tool he used to let out aggression and frustration.
She stood and pulled the white fabric of her business suit over her body. Choking back tears and sniffing, she slowly walked to the bathroom. She leaned over onto the counter, her forehead falling against the cold granite. Why did she do this? Why did she do this to herself? Allow him to do this to her? For 8 years, right out of highschool, she'd allowed herself to be beaten down into an impression of a woman. She used to be so strong, so wise. She'd even helped a friend to leave an abusive boyfriend once. She knew the signs, heard the stories, and had seen the movies. But she refused to see them when it came to Richard. Refused to realize what would become of him after their wedding night. But he had become that, and she took it everyday, countering her want to run by convincing herself that he loved her. But such wasn't the case. He never said he wanted her to stay because he needed her and couldn't live without her by his side. He said she had to stay because she was his, he owned her.
Lifting her torso she slowly, carefully began to cover the bruises. She had to take extra precautions to cover them. Business men and women entered and exited their house frequently on missions she was not allowed to know of. If someone saw a demarkation on his prestigous wife his authority would be in danger and that would make him angrier than he'd ever been before. She'd made the mistake once before and he'd gone 'easy' on her because it was her first time. But who knew what would happen her second time around.
After an hour of carefully applying layer after layer of make-up she put on her Jackie O. inspired shades and walked downstairs. It was 5 o'clock and she was expected in the dining room. Walking in she found Richard standing by her chair, their maid already setting out their plates.
"Rebecca dear, you decided to join us," he smiled charmingly.
"Us?"
Just as she spoke 3 men, dressed in suits as well, strolled into the dining hall from the foyer. They were tall, well built and intimidating, just like Richard. Two of the men continued towards her, the other waited in the doorway. She got a feeling he wasn't there for the food.
"Rebecca darling, this is Mr. Gennings and Mr. Cummings. They'll be joining us for dinner tonight." He pushed her towards the men slightly when they extended their hands.
"Mr. Cummings... Mr. Gennings." She smiled politely.
She was the epitamy of politenees and manners. Richard kept her that way.
"Have a seat," he motioned to the table beside them.
The two men sat in the middle across from eachother as Richard and Rebecca sat at the two heads of the table.
"Rebecca, is it polite to wear sunglasses at the table?" Richard unfolded his napkin and placed it on his knee.
"Well, dear," the word was stretched, "it's terribly bright in here and-,"
"You will remove your sunglasses Rebecca," his voice was firm, steady, controlled.
He was flexing his power over her and his domain for his friends.
"Yes dear." she slowly pulled them off and looked down at her plate.
It was virtually empty, with a piece of celery, a few apple slices, and some salad. Richard decided she needed to lose 10 or 15 pounds. Dinner progressed uneventfully as the 3 men chatted quietly about matters in which she was uninvolved. Over the years she was taught to fully tune them out. Richard always told her that 'the less you know, the better off you'll be.' Before she knew it the men were rising to leave and she stood as well, smiling slightly.
"Nice meeting you Rebecca."
"Good to meet you too, Mr. Cummings."
"Come gentlemen, I'll see you out. Rebecca, I'm sure your presence is needed somewhere."
"Of course." she nodded to them before walking back upstairs.
"Rebecca!"
She shuddered. There was that voice, that call. She hated it. He was angry.
"Rebecca Kristine Sullivan!!"
He was really angry. Rebecca sank down into the chair in her bathroom where she had been removing her make-up. Should she go to him? Should she answer? If she didn't he'd find her anyway, and the cat-and-mouse game would only make him angrier.
"Rebecca!!!" the house shook with his roar.
She decided to chance it. Maybe he'd figure she'd gone down to the living room. Suddenly the door banged loudly against the wall, causing Rebecca to jump and a small shriek to excape her lips. Nope, he'd found her.
"Rebecca, darling did you not hear me?" before she had a chance to respond he advanced into the bathroom and liftted her out of the chair by her hair.
She screamed, anticipating the pain she was about to receive from him. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. But what was it? What had she done wrong? He threw her to the floor in the bedroom and when she opened her mouth to speak the back of his hand flew across her cheek. Before she even had a chance to react he was leaning over her, his breath hot on her face, his heat radiationg onto her, forcing her to tremble uncontrollably. He smiled at this.
"What's the matter with you? Hmmm? Are you trying to embarrass me?"
"What did I do?"
He grabbed her arm roughly and shook her.
"Sunglasses to the table? Not responding to questions during dinner? And I saw the looks you were giving Cummings."
"What? What looks?"
"Don't play dumb with me Rebecca, I saw you. Do you want him? Hmmm? Think he's better than me?"
"Richard I don't know what your talking about-," he silenced her with his fist.
He then wrapped his fingers around her neck and began to slowly lift her off the ground.
"Who are you? Hmmm? Are you the Sullivan house whore?"
She hated that noise. That 'hmmm'. It was always daring her to answer. But she knew better. On their honeymoon he'd used his beltbuckle to teach her when to answer and when not to.
"What do you do when I'm out of town? Run around town with my associates?"
"No, Richard." she grabbed onto his arm when his fingers began to tighten.
"You better be telling me the truth Rebecca. And don't think for a minute that I'll just let you run around with some other man. You are my wife not his!" he dropped her suddenly.
"You will not leave me! Do you hear me?! You will not leave me!" with every word his fist pounded into her.
For a moment after he stopped she couldn't move any of the extremities on her body. The room was cold even though both she and he were sweating.
"I'll teach you a lesson. You think I'm going to stand for this? Hmmm?" he spoke while walking away from her and over to the TV. She watched him rip a cable out from behind it, fold the ends into his palm, and begin walking back towards her. Only did she then find the strength to move, to run, to scream.
"No! Richard please! No!"
Her fingers barely grasped the doorknob before she was roughly pulled back.
"I'll be gone most of the day, I have a meeting with my father downtown. I don't want you leaving the property." he spoke while tightening his tie.
When she didn't speak he walked over to where she sat in a chair at the corner of the room. Placing his hands on the arms of the chair he leaned over till he was eye level with her.
"I wish you wouldn't make me do things like what I did last night Rebecca. But you asked for it by being so disobediant. I had to teach you a lesson."
When she didn't move, and her straight gaze didn't waver he kissed her cheek and stood.
"I'll be back around 7."
She waited till the door clicked closed before looking out the window and down at the street. After a few moments he exited the building. Before leaving he stopped, looked up at her, waved, and stepped into his limo. Once it pulled out of site she bolted from her seat and over to the closet. Pulling back the carpet in the corner she pulled out a ziplock bag with some money in it. It wasn't much, just something she'd managed to save from her allowance over the years. Tossing that and a few pieces of jewelry she could sell on the bed, she walked back to the closet again, this time to get dressed.
In an old shoe box in the back there was a pair of old jeans, a sweatshirt, tee shirt and some sneakers. She'd kept them for when a day like this came around. A day when she decided she wanted to be done. Last night, when he'd used a cord on her back, she'd come to realize that she was done. She'd had her fill of Richard Sullivan. She dressed quickly, only stepping in the bathroom long enough to brush her teeth. She shoved the jewelry in her pocket, the money in her wallet and ran down the stairs.
"Mrs. Sullivan? Mr. Sullivan said you were alseep." the maid, Maria, paused in her work.
"He lied. When he gets home tonight tell him I said 'goodbye."
Slamming the door behind her she raced through the hall and out the front door. Turning onto the sidewalk she nearly ran into someone before quickening her pace to get away from the house, that house that shattered so many dreams and silenced so many cries. She ran for several minutes, every second tears rolled down her cheeks. After half an hour of running down streets and turning corners she stopped in front of an apartment building. Looking up at the 4th story she squinted back more tears. She took a moment, hesitating, she hadn't spoken to Lara in years and was now standing outside her apartment. Would she be welcomed? Was she even home?
Finally entering she took the elevator to the correct floor and started down the hall towards the correct door. The building was warm and she had been running, causing her to pant heavily. She peeled off the sweatshirt she'd been wearing and tied it around her waist just before reaching Lara's door. She knocked softly and ran a hand over her wild ponytail, trying to somewhat straighten herself up. When no one answered she knocked again. Nothing. She hung her head and sighed. Now where would she go? Turning to leave she heard the locks quickly turn and the door open.
"Becca?"
She turned slowly, smiling when her eyes focused on the petite woman.
"Hey Lara."
"Oh my God, Bec!" she stepped to her quickly and wrapped her in a hug.
"What are you doing here?" Lara stepped back to look at her.
Rebecca's shoulders slumped visibly and Lara instantly knew.
"You left him?"
Rebecca nodded.
"For good?"
"I have no choice."
"Come inside." she kicked the door open wider with her foot.
Allowing Rebecca to enter first Lara finally got a good look at her. She saw the tired, sad, expression on her friends face and the blue and purple bruises on her back that glowed through her white teeshirt. Shaking her head softly at Rebecca for taking the abuse and balling her fist wishing she could use them on Richard for giving it to her, she followed her in and allowed the door to close behind her.
The usually bright New York sky was covered with mixtures of dark and light grays. The air was cold, the city's mood gloomy. Rebecca stood in front of the window, willing rain drops to fall. Maybe she wouldn't feel so bad if the weather made everyone else sad too.
"I shouldn't of come here." she whispered.
"What? What'd you say?" Lara paused in her walk from the bedroom to the kitchen.
"I said I never should have come here. I never should have left." she turned from the window and dropped down on the sofa.
"What the hell are you talking about Bec?"
"I mean this was so stupid. I was so overcome with the idea that I didn't even think it over. He is going to come looking for me and when he finds me, he will kill me."
"Bec, he's not goin to kill you-,"
"Yes, he will. You don't know Richard, Lara! He broke my arm with one hand. He is stronger and faster, and he knows people all over this city. He will look for me, he will find me, and he will kill me for leaving him. I should have just stayed where I was."
"Becca, don't ever say that again. If anything you stayed with him too long. Your gone and your staying gone. He won't find you and he can't hurt you." she stood in front of her friend.
"Yes he can." she whispered back.
The front door banged back against the wall causing both girls to jump and Rebecca to scream.
"Oh my God it's him. It's Richard." Rebecca immediatly looked around for a way out of the apartment, any escape route she could use. But they were on the 4th floor. There was no where to go.
"Lara? Lar it's me. Are you in here?" JC Chasez rounded the corner to find Lara and another girl in the living room.
Lara looked half relieved to see him and half upset. The girl behind her however was pale and shaking like an aspen leaf as she looked around the room.
"Becca? Becca calm down. It's okay it's only the stupid neighbor." Lara turned her back to him to place her hands on Rebecca's cheeks.
"Becky look. Look, it's only Josh, it's not Richard." she stepped out of the way to allow Rebecca to see him.
Only then did Rebecca's tears stop and her breathing slowly begin to return to normal. Lara gently pushed her shoulders until Becca sat down on the sofa and knelt before her.
"Are you all right? Are you okay?" she petted her hair softly.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. I just...I just need a second."
"Uh...Lara? What's going on?" JC set the plastic bag on the counter.
Lara looked between them both before telling Becca she'd be right back and draggin JC into the kitchen.
"What the hell's the matter with you? You don't just walk in here like that."
"Hey, you asked me to pick up some stuff for you next time I went to the store and to drop them off. You should've thought about this before you gave me a key."
"Well your gonna have to give it back."
"Fine. What's with the chick in there?"
"The chick in there has a name."
"Which is?"
"Rebecca."
"Alright. Is Rebecca okay?"
"She's fine. Just hiding out here for a few days."
"She seemed kinda freaked out when I came in"
"She had every reason to be."
He raised an eyebrow and waited for her to continue. Lara glanced into the living room to make sure Rebecca wasn't listening before stepping closer to him and lowering her voice to a whisper.
"She just left her husband. He was controlling, shall we say, and she's staying here till she can get some money and get on her feet and get her divorce started."
"Controlling?" he questioned.
Lara gave him a look and nodded slowly.
"Very controlling. Dangerously controlling,"
"What are you saying? Are you tryin to tell me her husband-,"
"Lara?"
"Yes?" she jumped away from him and walked to the doorway where Becca was standing.
"I'm gonna go shower okay?" her voice was soft and meek.
"Yeah sure."
Rebecca pulled her arms up and wrapped them around herself tightly while looking the stranger over. He looked nice enough, but so did Richard.
"Bec, this is Josh. He lives next door. Josh this is Becca, my bestfriend."
"Hi," he waved slightly.
"Hi."
"He pops in and out of here a couple times a week. No need to be worried about him."
No one spoke for a moment after that and the silence only made Rebecca want to crawl into herself more.
"Well, I'm gonna go grab that shower. Nice meeting you, Josh."
"You too Becca."
The two watched her walk into the bathroom and close the door before leaning against the counter next to eachother. JC waited for Lara to speak as she was thinking over how much, if anything at all to tell him. It wasn't really her business to tell. It was Rebecca's, but Becca didn't look anywhere near ready to tell her story to anyone. Besides, maybe Josh would be able to help. Lara was a doctor, on call 24/7 in the E.R. If there was ever a day where she wouldn't be home to keep an eye on Rebecca, maybe he would be. He had alot of time on his hands now that his group was on hiatus.
"That is the 6th shower she's taken since she got here last night. Man she was a mess. I'm guessing the shower is doing more than cleaning her skin, atleast in her mind."
"Lar, were you trying to tell me her husband-,"
"Yeah. Pretty much daily I think. She won't say. She won't talk about it."
"How could someone... how could a man...?" he didn't complete his sentence. Just shook his head in shame while watching the door.
"I know. She left him yesterday, she didn't bring anything with her. She just flung open the door and ran. She ran all the way here."
"Man.... So what are you gonna do?"
"Call in a few services and see if I can get the ball rolling on her divorce for her. A restraining order."
"Does she need one? I mean, does he even know where she is?"
"He knows me and that I live here. Before you walked in she was wishing she'd never left."
"How could she wish that?"
"Because when he gets over the shock of her leaving he's going to look for her, and who knows what he'll do to her."
He stayed silent a moment, not sure if he should ask or not.
"If he found her, would he... could he-"
"She says yeah. And she's so terrified about it that I believe her"
The conversation paused on that note. He was so lost in his own world. Everything made sense to him now. Why she'd been so frantic looking when he walked in. Why she wouldn't meet his eye moments before when they'd been introduced. Why she was hugging herself as if trying to climb into her own skin. Everything made sense and he felt bad, sorry for her. For any one, any woman to have to go through that pain. Pain inflicted by the person that's supposed to love and cherish and protect you. He just felt bad for her.
"I'm just not sure what to do or who could help."
"I'm not sure what to tell you."
"Hey," she spoke as if a light bulb had gone off in her head, "you."
"Me what?" he looked at her curiously, cautiously.
"You could help me out."
"What are you talkin about?"
"You've got that beach house across the bay in-"
"No. No way."
"Why not?"
"You want me to loan my house out to some stranger?"
"It's not like you go out there."
"That's besides the point."
"Oh JC, come on!"
"What makes you think she'll even wanna go out there?"
"She will."
"Lara-"
"Please. I'm in a bind. I'm trying to help a friend. Think about it Josh, your decision will decide the rest of her life. If you say no and her husband comes here, where he probably knows she is, and kills her, then she won't have a life anymore."
"That is so low."
"It's the truth. Come on popstar, please?" she pouted as only Lara could.
It wasn't her face that was making him want to do it, it was more the girl in the bathroom. As much as he wanted to play it off as nothing serious and say no, he knew that Lara wasn't joking about the urgency of the situation. He wasn't all for some strange chick up in his personal space, but if he came home sometime next week and found Lara crying over a dead body he'd never forgive himself. Sighing, he made up his mind.
"Alright, alright fine. She can stay at the house."
"Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she threw her arms around him happily.
"You have no idea how much your helping me out, or how much this means to me. It'll mean alot to her too."
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Email: Coffee